A Heavenly Mother

Some stories just stick with you. A woman I worked with many years ago shared a personal story with me one day in our office cafe. For the life of me I can’t remember her name but I can picture her face. She had lost her 19 year old son to suicide some five years before our conversation. He was her only child and she spent the first few years after it happened in a fog. She’d been divorced from his father for many years before his death and felt completely alone in the world. Her son was her whole life. Through counseling she was referred to a parental group for the loss of a child and met other parents just like her. It was at this group that she learned about a heavenly mother.

A heavenly mother is intended to be a form of comfort. It means finding a woman who has recently passed away who is buried in the same cemetery as your child and ask that she take care of them for you in heaven. She spent weeks visiting the cemetery struggling with the concept but was continuously drawn to one particular grave. She eventually chose that woman to be her son’s heavenly mother.

One day as she was sitting on a bench visiting, a man she had seen around a few times sat next to her. They began chatting, acknowledging that they’d both seen each other numerous times at the cemetery, and through their introduction she learned that he was the widower of her son’s heavenly mother.

I remember her telling me that upon hearing that she instantly believed her son had sent him to her. That it was his way of making sure she would be ok without him. That man is now her husband.

This woman’s story is where the idea for Not Part Of The Plan came from. It’s a story about connection and finding love even during grief.